[art]: Philip Guston

上一堂陳育強先生和我們分享創作經驗，他看過我的畫後，覺得我是傾向於 direct painting，建議我看看有關artists的書和畫。

Philip Custon
Cy Twombly
Joan Mitchell
Willem De Knooning

雖然說不上很喜歡他們的創作，不過 Philip Custon 的文字，對我來說有一種很 "中" 的感覺，好像說出了我一早想說，卻又不能組織好怎樣說的想法。

Painting is an illusion, a piece of magic, so what you see is not what you see. I don't know what a painting is; who knows what sets off even the desire to paint? It might be things, thoughts, a memory, sensations, which have nothing to do directly with painting itself. They can come from anything and anywhere.

There are days when in a kind of half-awake state ...... I don't myself know what is where - nothing to do with separate pictures anymore but a sort of confused swarm where everything can become everything else - in a split second. I "panic" and hate it and desire it to stop fully as much as I love and need it and want to continue endlessly.

還解決了我不該有的疑慮。

My work must be demanding for a spectator, but what can I do? I think there's some law at work - an invisible law - that means you can only accept certain things at a certain time - so that if you're working to please yourself or catering to yourself, why should you cater to a looker or art critic? Why should you meet their expectations? If I destroy my own expectations, why should I worry about others' expectations?