[diary]: Painting, at this stage

thinking at this moment......23:05, 5 June 2007

Looking back, after studying fine art for almost two years, my drawing and painting skills haven't improved much. A shame or not? I don't know.
However, painting to me, is very different, and ever changing.
In the beginning of the class, I just want to draw or paint as realistic as it should be, or to develop an unique style which appears special to others.
Then, I soon to explore what subject I am interested in and what feeling I want to express.
Later, I learnt that I have indeed missed the process of painting, and the paint itself.
I tried to enjoy the process of being fully indulged in.
And, I discover, every detail that involved in the act of paint, is truly important.
Mixing of colors, medium, brush stroke,....all are decisions.
Give or take, solid or soft, thick or thin, cold or warm, deep or shallow,
millions of choices, millions of decisions,
yet some may be rational, intentional, while some are just spontaneous, accidental and even being unaware of,
some are certain, some like trials......
No matter the final outcome is "good" or not, every work of painting marks something.
That "something", represent "something" about you at that moment, which you could not deny or conceal.


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This suddenly made me recall a film - The Hours